Proposal Number: 0001-G/T
Researcher: Augustus Gaius Octavius
Proposal: Seek out an experimental cure for a therefore yet un-described magimystical affliction
Application: Patient E.M., a 27 year old, right-handed man (born under the Tropical Zodiac constellation Gemini) initially presented to the Gossmere healers with the following Chief Complaint: all lawn equipment he interacts with fails after precisely 13 minutes of handling. Believing, correctly, this to be a magimystical jinx, hex or other variety of minor curse, he first sought out magiqal methods of healing/curse-breaking but to no avail. He was referred via inter-Guild missive to the enlightened minds of Thornmouth. Gossmere healer Augustus accompanied E.M. to the Lab for testing/treatment trials.
Potential impact: Describe an entirely new class of magiqal affliction and summate curative or palliative options for said affliction.
Day 1: E.M. presented to the lab with a manilla envelope full of records, CT scan reports, MRI image discs, and discharge summaries. These were burned in a decorative bronze brazier to see if the color of the flames would help discern the nature of his jinx. It did not. New copies were requested from the referring centers for review (no one had thought to do so prior to the burning spell).
Day 4: A diagnostic/therapeutic trial of acupuncture was carried out, but the “needles” borrowed from Flinterforge apparently exceeded E.M.’s tolerance to pain, causing him to faint. Declared a failed trial.
Day 6: E.M. was bathed for 3.5 hours in a solution of magimystically-charged Epsom salt to cleanse his aura. He developed pruney pink fingers and toes. No other effects were observed. His aura was unchanged when viewed through Fresnel and polarized lenses.
Day 13: Despite E.M.’s claims that he was fully cured, 13 minutes of exposure to a leaf blower caused said leaf blower to explode violently, where it would simply have sputtered out prior to experimental treatments. Further experimental treatments deemed necessary by Thornmouth research team.
Day 26: A significant breakthrough occurred - Thornmouth researchers discovered that, being a “nice guy,” Augustus would fetch them lunch 1-2 times per week from the establishment of their choice, so long as they gave him cash to pay with. No progress yet made on E.M.’s case, but plenty of reading being done on hexes (and lawn equipment).
Day 30: Specifically timed applications of herbal unguents and mineral-based medicaments seem to suppress E.M.’s jinx for 26 minutes (rather than 13) before rebounding, causing a hedge trimmer chain to fly off and get lodged permanently in the lab roof. Although no one is specifically wounded, note is made that Balimoran and Flinterforge researchers now avoid the wing of the lab where E.M.’s treatments are being administered.
Day 32: Noting his severe homesickness, Augustus supplied E.M. with a kitchen egg timer and advised him to take frequent breaks when performing lawn-care tasks. No further experiments are conducted, but discharge exam reveals E.M. now always smells faintly of ozone, regardless of prevailing weather conditions.
Additional: The Gossmerim decide, based on Augustus’ report of E.M.’s case, to only correspond with Thornmouth colleagues via letters where rare afflictions and diseases are concerned.