We talked. She’s coming back to the city tonight and we agreed that I’m gonna meet her at the station. I thought neutral, public territory might be the right place to do this, both meeting a stranger from the internet and hearing all of this. I didn’t mention anything. Not yet. She just thinks we’re meeting to meet, so she’s excited. Kind of makes me sad, but I know it’s for the best.
Thanks for your feedback. This is a tough call. For her, for me. She needs to know all of this and for whatever reason I’m the only one that’s able to do it. So I have to do it. I feel like The Book, or whatever is doing all this, knows I need to step up. Weird, I know.
Meeting her like this and explaining everything about us and her dad means I’m gonna have to explain about me too. Stuff I never told her (or you guys) about my past, and my present, basically because I never thought I’d meet any of you.
I know I’m not trying to be a hero because this is gonna be tough for me too, but I’m cool knowing that whatever happens with the two of us isn’t as important as her having her life back. That I get. That I understand.
So tonight, she’ll know everything about everything and it will be up to her to figure out what she wants to do with the information.
I feel like once that seal is broken it isn’t fair for me to be here, you know? I mean, I’ll let you know how it goes, but if I stand a chance of her trusting me again, I need to let you guys do your thing and show her I’m not running back here to tell you everything we talk about (if she ever wants to talk to me again.) And you guys should be free to keep doing what you’re doing without worrying if either of us is looking over your shoulder. Basically, you should be allowed to talk about us and anything else because you guys need this place. The book isn’t gonna open without you.
But I’m always an email or Tumblr post away if you need me. I’d do anything for you guys. You showed me the world’s a lot brighter and the people in it a lot better than I ever gave either credit for.